whats it like to eat a woman out for the first time
Dear straight men of America: Information technology's fourth dimension to stride upward your oral sex game. Going downwards on a adult female isn't rocket science, but far also many men shy away from reciprocating oral sex, leaving their partners to suffer the sad, orgasm-less consequences.
Research shows that straight women statistically have fewer orgasms than any other demographic, including lesbians. That might exist considering their partners aren't putting enough effort into pleasing them, specially when it comes to oral sex. (And then there are fools similar this who think making a adult female come up runs counter to their masculinity. If The Stone can do information technology, and then can you, DJ Khaled.)
To help you out ― and hopefully shut the orgasm gap a bit ― we turned to the experts: lesbians and queer women! Later on all, who better to dole out advice on eating a adult female out than someone with ladybits who's both given and received information technology?
Delight read this, reread it, and then bookmark it. Thank you very much.
Responses have been edited for clarity and style. One concluding name has been withheld for privacy.
1. Never go directly to the clitoris.
"Accept your time when going down on a woman. Don't rush straight to the clit. Yous have to build up the apprehension and become the juices flowing. Foreplay is so important. You really need to read her body linguistic communication." ― Addicchun Sabra, a Lifestyle YouTuber
2. Enlist more than than just your tongue for the job.
"Forget what you see in porn, where they show men similar hummingbirds, hovering over the clitoris and flicking at it with tense tongues. Open your mouth, take a deep breath and dive all the way in. Get your face wet, nose to chin. Use the pressure and contours of your face to grind into her and allow your mouth to melt into her, like an astonishing open-mouth kiss. Don't stop till you come up looking like a frosted doughnut with a big grin on your confront and she is basking in the afterglow. As well: Learn how to use your hands! Many women will respond very well to adding a finger or two during oral sexual practice, and it helps if those fingers are skilled and confident." ― Chris Maxwell Rose, sex educator and host of "Speaking of Sex with The Pleasance Mechanics"
iii. Assume the position.
"If your partner'due south on their back, hook your arms under their legs to pull them in close, include some self-stimulation or masturbation, which is hot for yous but tin likewise ramp things upwards for your partner, or simply use your hands to alter awareness or make certain areas of the vulva more available to your oral fissure." ― Yana Tallon-Hicks, a sex educator and therapist in Northampton, Massachusetts
4. Allow her know you're enjoying it, too.
"In my experience, I've felt that women can exist self-conscious when information technology comes to letting you go down on them (at least in the kickoff), so let her know that you lot aren't doing her a 'favor' and that you're just as into it as she is. There's nothing hotter than when you can tell your partner is so ridiculously turned on past what they're doing to you." ― Kristen McKenzie, a YouTuber and an "Amazing Race Canada" winner
5. Think of cunnilingus a little similar a blowjob.
"It can feel really adept for a lot of folks with vulvas to put your lips gently effectually the shaft and hood of the clitoris, take as much of the hood and vulvar lips into your mouth as you can, and move your mouth in and then away from the vulva in a style nosotros typically think of as a blowjob for a penis. The in-and-out motion paired with taking a lot of the vulva into your mouth creates a sensation that stimulates more of the clitoral structure than only the tongue. Pro tip: Keep that natural language abroad from the head of the clitoris during this move." ― Rae McDaniel, a gender and sex therapist in Chicago
half-dozen. Don't make assumptions virtually what she's comfy with you doing. (Some women don't fifty-fifty similar oral sexual activity.)
"Enjoying oral sex and being comfy with someone going down on you are two dissimilar things for many women. Enquire your partner what y'all tin can do to make the experience more comfy for them. I think more women would enjoy oral sexual practice if nosotros could help them be more comfortable with it." ― Anna
seven. If yous've institute her sweet spot, for the love of God, stay there.
"In one case you lot find the sweet spot or perfect movement they similar, keep doing it. I think many people are afraid that repetition gets ho-hum or that they need to switch information technology up a lot to prove their skill, but that isn't true. And when in doubt, utilise suction!" ― Skyler Ryan, a tattoo creative person in New Jersey
8. Be mindful of where she'due south well-nigh sensitive — and swallow excess spit, please.
"Know where she's most sensitive and where you should focus more than attention and maybe more or less pressure level in certain places. Having a conversation nearly it with her would be platonic; you don't want to waste time fumbling around trying to figure it out on your own. And make sure you're swallowing and then that she doesn't feel saliva dripping downwards her backside, which volition crusade her to feel wet and libation, non in a good way." ― Frankie Bashan, a lesbian and bi dating and relationship motorcoach
9. Don't assume what worked in the past with other women will piece of work with your current partner.
"There are many different routes to accomplish orgasm. Healthy communication and your partner knowing her own body are fundamental. All bodies are dissimilar. All women don't have the same genitalia, and they don't answer to the same stimuli. Asking which types of impact are preferred is vital to having engaging and exciting sex." ― Amber Butts, a author from Oakland, California
10. Never go into it thinking you're a sexual activity god.
"Even if you believe yourself to be a sex god (which you could be!), don't assume yous know exactly what she wants. Conviction in what you lot're doing is obviously hot, but existence rigid and unwilling to take direction is decidedly not hot! Every woman is built differently, so while you're undressing her and teasing her, ask her what she likes. While your tongue is on her clit and she'southward getting wet, enquire if she wants to exist fingered at the same time. Women honey to reply questions! Also, remember in that location are multiple positions to eat someone out in." ― Brittany Ashley, a writer in Los Angeles
Sex Ed for Grown-Ups is a series tackling everything y'all didn't larn about sexual practice in school — beyond the birds and the bees. Keep checking back for more skillful-based manufactures and personal stories.
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Source: https://www.huffpost.com/entry/oral-sex-tips-queer-women_l_5cb76572e4b09dc528ccfff7
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